Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are the second and third comings of Christ, respectively. This is something we all recognize. They are players of the highest order--players in the Intergalactic League. Through their visionary prowess, they recognize that our time on Mother Earth is fleeting. Our home planet is a lost cause. Why? Because they will ensure as much.
That is not to say humanity is doomed. Our saviors have a plan. They look to the stars: to low Earth orbit, to Mars, and beyond. Continents, oceans, trees, breathable air--these are frivolities. Jeffrey's four-minute venture into the great unknown on his suggestively-contoured rocket was not such a frivolity.
Elon Musk's (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) seemingly gratuitous explosions in the South Texas desert are not a coalescence of inept management and acutely burnt-out engineers, but the first phase of a meticulous plan to save the human race.
Welcome to Oblonga. The air is toxic, the radiation can be likened to that of a hundred Chernobyls, the surface is encrusted with particularly viscous magma, and its rotation rate can knock out the mightiest of astronauts. But, it is our sole home. Hail to the Chiefs.