The Male Loneliness Epidemic is a very real and very scary thing. Everywhere I go, I see young men and boys recuse themselves from society. I think this is just because they don't know how to be a member of society, not out of malice.
I am the doctor. In all my years, I have gained a lot of experience in navigating the persnickety nature of inter-human interactions. Over the years, I have perfected the science of ingratiating myself to other human beings through specific and repeatable methods of affability. I have been able to quantify and codify all of the techniques I utilize, and synthesize them into this public service announcement. I hope this creates a standardized set of social procedures every member of the species can follow in order to minimize confusion and increase efficiency going forward.